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高中英语 公开 郭远舟

读后续写练习:雨中的自行车

第一段续写: I stood there, watching the rain pour down. My bike was broken and I had no idea what to do. Suddenly, an old man came to me with an umbrella. He smiled and asked me what happened. I told him my bike was broken. He said he could help me. I was very happy.

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徐乐言

情节推进没问题,但情绪表达太直白。最后一句 I was very happy 可以改成动作或感官描写,比如 A warmth spread through my chest despite the cold rain.

Emily Carter

对话部分建议用直接引语,能让画面更有临场感。整段目前是概述,缺少一处慢下来的细节描写。